From my earliest memories, I always felt like I was on a journey, bouncing from home to home due to my parents’ remarriages and my stepdad’s military service. As a result, my relationship with my biological father was distant, and my stepdad’s military bearing cast shadows over my formative years. As a teenager, I was the girl next door with a rebellious flair. My early experiences left me feeling wounded, seeking control and craving acceptance from as many men as I could entertain without them finding out about one another.
I found out I was pregnant in the early summer following my High School graduation. I had been accepted into the college of my choosing and was pursuing my bachelor’s degree in nursing. I felt trapped, forced to make a decision that could change the trajectory of my life; crushing my dream of going to college would be its first casualty. In isolation, I was suffocating under the enormous pressure my circumstances had provided me.
The weight of my secret eventually gave way. At that moment, I sought relief from the safest place I could think of, which was my boyfriend. He completely came unglued and relentlessly pushed for an abortion. He passionately argued why abortion was the best choice for us both, saying he loved me and wanted to build a future together following college. Anger eventually set in when I shared my reservations. He told me that he would not let my carelessness ruin his life. He broke up with me, shaming me publicly by denying that the baby was his. Despite the pressure, I knew deep down that I couldn’t take that path he desired, though I will admit abortion seemed the easiest solution for everyone involved.
My mother and stepfather’s reaction surprised me. They were willing to support me through my pregnancy, offering to help however necessary to get me through college and onto a stable career path. Although it was a difficult decision, I realized placing for adoption was the best path for me. I wanted to move on, have a college experience, get married, and raise our future family together.
I confided in a friend of my mother’s who had worked with women facing unexpected pregnancies for years. The resources she offered led me to an adoption agency of my choosing, and they have supported me every step of the way.
Birth moms who choose adoption know that it is a selfless decision that stems from a place of profound love, a love that extends beyond oneself to embrace another family with open arms. Every birth mom understands it’s a path fraught with emotions and complexities, yet a choice they make entirely wholeheartedly.
Thirteen years have passed, and I have since graduated from college with my bachelor’s degree in nursing; I am married, and my husband and I are raising three very active boys together. Fear of societal judgments often surrounds unplanned pregnancies, yet profound courage emerges when we embrace life’s unexpected turns. Though my adoption journey was not without its challenges, it did transform a negative experience into a profoundly positive and life-giving one. It proves that even amidst adversity, the strength to make brave choices can pave the way for the most extraordinary chapters to unfold from the pages of the unexpected.
